Soft bite The bright packet One bar of the fire Pangs tear down my gut Drift of cobwebs Old furniture Imbecile dog snoring in the corner Nouns upon nouns God casting his ivory net Drink the last of the warm pink wine Run the iron over the stale shirt Undo the manky cuffs Grime fast in fabric Sludge under the rubber insole
Okay. I have a big decision coming up...whether to finally pack it in and move to Germany early next year.
That's what I told my friends today...or something like it. The issue is that a job would be taking me over there, and I'm tired of working.
I know the feeling but working in Europe is different, we get more holidays and the hours aren’t as long. Work life balance is more respected here.
Great guns on that missy sticky like insulation red dots applied between eyes brows the hairless furrow where sweat collects .
Portrait sunken teeth gums double their length brown-edged bone and cartilage skin pulled taught baby mocking bottom lip nails uneven raw cuticles a little dried blood thick brows a fine head of hair disheveled in her lap the long tagliatelle of fingers .
a small swarm of papers carried in the wind a piece lifts falls then shimmies to the patchy pavement a calendar leaf— September the numbers hardly visible for the manic Biro scratches and circles the rest of the white leaves throng themselves skyward to the grey gulf above us .
dear Miguel for a momentary moment my minds eye spoke as if maybe i was in Segovia Nouns upon nuns God casting his ivory net ~~~~~~~~~~~
The last fly my Frenchy Winnie stalks it eyes on sticks as it tours the living room I spray the RAID 100% effective around the TV and Moviestar box Winnie leaps from the sofa launching her brick-like frame at the tiny beast that is twitching abruptly as it walks across the laminate but she misses it and slides awkwardly over my woolly socks
Europe ,,,, ain't like it used to be. CZ is the third largest health insurer in the Netherlands, with 3.7 million policyholders. CEO Joep de Groot said Although health insurers have a duty of care, they can’t eliminate waiting lists in healthcare. According to De Groot, the limits of the healthcare system have been reached. “I can’t guarantee that healthcare is always accessible to everyone. In fact, I think I can almost guarantee it isn’t,” he said to the newspaper. https://nltimes.nl/2022/11/11/cz-bu...ms-eu13825-can-longer-guarantee-care-everyone ~
Wired long fingers stroking themselves pinch and twist the dark metallic ring a dimmer switch the bright smile slowly fades to obscurity
Controlling you like the clouds allow the sun to touch the Earth like the river urges sediment to the open ocean like the wind takes fungus spores to the rotten oak like each rain drop taking tiny parts of the sandstone facade .
Foremost on the mind the fly on my arm taking the traversable path through wispy hair a perfect moment to gaze into the eyes of an aviator what wonder to feel the wooosh of air created by glassy wings above— the bright dome of warmth attached to the thick glossy ceiling .
Stay on that fucking bus past the monoliths saluting the sky with their geometry beyond the three story red-bricks who merge in a wanton blur as you pass on to where the road becomes a gravel path forking out to the cliff tops from which you may jump .
In glum haste a grey train hurtles through the night over the tracks through the mountains monotonous chug the urgent red stripes obscured by speed the windows filled with silhouettes behind— a dim amber glow stand clear of the platform edge the approaching train is not scheduled to stop anyone standing in front of the yellow line risks being sucked into its whirling vacuum .
Cactus sat in the marine-blue IKEA pot with minimum soil and no added nutrients on the brick hearth behind the chimenea it has excelled its green spines plumped firm and erect with no special words or nurishment only a liberal dash of water & the wafts of fake dry heat from the stove .
Keep going past the large yellow sign don't stop until you reach the traffic lights then you can either cross and go straight on or turn right toward the train station but whatever you do don't turn left that road has no footpath and a narrow tunnel through which the HGVs thunder if you carry straight on there's a thigh-burning incline but you'll get there a little quicker the trick is to ignore the street names don't cower and keep moving briskly ignore the limbless beggars just smile politely when they speak to you especially if it sounds a little foreign .
Her smile— a little retarded breast poking sideways through chifon slurping the head of a caña eyes darting from phone to the large mirror behind the bar eyebrows full hair in Princess Leia buns nostrils a little flary I unbutton my jacket pull off my scarf straighten the kink in my collar and return her smile .
Discrimination is a problem, many international workers in NL say Discrimination is a major issue facing the international community in the Netherlands, with two thirds of respondents to a new survey saying they had been targeted at least once. https://www.dutchnews.nl/news/2022/...problem-many-international-workers-in-nl-say/ .
We are brought up with bias inflicted on us by well-meaning parents, those who are fortunate to realise can spend the rest of their lives wrestling these biases. Of course not all biases result in discrimination but some do, and the sad thing is that many people are still not even aware of them. They live in a kind of ignorance - Trump is a prime example of this.
a mind whirring with bias "what sauce do you want on your salad?" the sweet one with a little mustard kick the creamy one peppered with chives the spicy one with blended bell peppers "I don't want any sauce" I finally say searching for a modicum of empathy in the deepening frown of the server .
Swallowing apple seeds slim hairless forearms will not traverse their way up the oesophagus and out past cracked lips burnished leaves will not unfurl from orifices white blooms will not flare out no petals to sway to dew-laden grass no trunk to place your palms around no fruit to plunge no pale flesh to bruise
Antiquity dank corners the bright pink flesh deflated balloons on plastic sticks hearty folds dross that extends itself out a dirty carpet cobwebs clinging to fibres the yawn of petals above the gape of the ceramic lip nothing to hold apart from the withered strand that once held a label .
About 400,000 people in the Netherlands cannot afford food and groceries, the Red Cross estimated. More and more people are turning to the aid organization for food support. “People experience fruit and vegetables as an unattainable luxury,” Heleen van den Berg, head of national aid at the Dutch Red Cross, said in a statement. “In a prosperous country like the Netherlands, nobody should worry about getting enough food,” Van den Berg said. “Yet every day, we hear from people that they have to skip meals. We also hear that parents don’t eat to ensure that their children can.” https://nltimes.nl/2022/11/15/400000-dutch-people-afford-food-groceries-red-cross-says .
if you think about it hard enough you might manifest it the hardest thing is looking the compassionate eyes and knowing smile the bright numbered ticket to collect the food package kings move a single space at a time fingers chewed knuckles raw the taste of tobacco on your tongue tip .
Don't call her a prostitute she's a sex worker she works in sex if you pay €75.00 she'll slide her wet up and down your leg leave her scent on you matt your thigh hair with juices she does porn on a weekend but never anal don't call her a prostitute she works in sex she's a sex worker .
Drabs jizzle down and out with the glittery nonsense one by one we take them from the battered box the brown tape holding it together each bauble and glitzy ornament with its ribboned hoop the blasted reindeer with his single antler a small smudge on his back the grease of cheese from last years fondant .
Carol Leigh, Activist Who Coined The Term 'Sex Work,' Dies At 71 “Carol defined sex work as a labor issue, not a crime, not a sin." https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ap-us-obit-sex-worker-advocate_n_6377b355e4b0c573961ff63e ~
green glass edges palliated by wind by spiky water the whoosh that takes away flesh— particle by particle pips fired at the immense sheath micro-sculpting leaving soft indents and corners that long to be thumbed .
Bring your best face don’t let your sighs seep out onto the tartan pillow bright marbles for eyes intersected amber the dressing screen arranged in such a way that haphazardly hides your nakedness .
Juicy Ellipses... how they glisten— the round balls that trail off the page edge perhaps into the perfect ridges of walnut veneer that itself is covered with debris— paperclips in their PVC pyjamas rolled scraps of rubber from the pencil’s eraser folded pieces of paper that have been used to clean fingernails and the empty plastic stationary holder its four hollow towers stretch toward the post-it note montage that coats the side of the monitor .
Mushroom Fanatics at this time of year you will see them wandering fallow fields and copses with their wicker baskets and latex gloves head fixed down eyes scouring the greenery for meaty treasure occasionally you will see them dip their wax jackets against the leaf litter render them almost invisible what could drive them to face the Segovian autumn bleakness I wonder later nestled between the news articles about Iran and Syria I stumble upon a picture perfect white domes sitting in the basket posted in the group “Pueblos of Segova” and below a vile argument about whether the cloth should sit beneath or on top of the precious fungi perhaps this fanaticism runs through us all .
on hearing of the death of the green Power Ranger I pick up my beer take a slurp and declare that my life will not be the same again of course the way he died was not nice at 49 he killed himself what method (I always) wonder perhaps a pistol in the mouth roof or a plummet from a dizzying bridge or building or an overdose of Codeine well I don’t suppose we will find out at least for a few more days I record a voice note reminder to search “cause of death Green Power Ranger” for 3 days time and take another mouthful of beer
Get up them stairs now you’re as high as kite look at those eyes they’re like saucers go sleep it off if you need one take one of my Xanax they’re in the left hand side of the cabinet god almighty what have I raised .
Tension pressing upwards on my skull right behind the eyes capillaries break down the brunt of a long day perhaps an aneurysm before I slip my PJs on .
They found part of the torso and legs packed neatly into a Slazenger bag like I might fold up my clothes tucked discreetly beneath the folds toes plush against the canvas there is a certain level of methodical neat cuts and blood already drained bright yolk unbroken in the shell the teeth of the zipper converging unpainted nails slotted into cuticles .
I’m not a cat person she announced running her eyes over the moggie that was sat on gingham rug well I’m not a person person but I do what I have to I replied .
The drying of ink not a smudge across the soft ridge of the palm every indelible letter every last up stroke and tittle rich blue in white interweaves the swoops and soft roundings settle into the deep pile resting themselves merging into the furnishings .
Golden bristles trinkets that dangle from lobes pendulous the almost invisible hairs stand taut and follow the nape taper off to flesh the bright green glint of jewels perhaps a sapphire more likely an emerald a drumstick rolling over another the gyration around a point soft pivoted movement of the shadows that elongate and join then part again .
